The Curious Case of Kurt Sevillano :p

“Bullshit”. “Fine”.

That would be how your partner would react when you tell him or her that you’ve found the strength to bid him goodbye. But in my case, this is what I got (or at least something like it):

I won’t give up on you – on us. I still look forward to the day we’d meet again. I know that time will come. And when it does, I know we’ll be happy together.

People break up for several reasons. The relationship that begun February 18 of last year came to an end last February 1. It wasn’t about the lack of love, or the common ‘too-much-love-I-accidentally-shared-it-with-someone-else-too’ crap.

It was a case of “we’ve given so much love, that now, it hurts”. Now, I actually understand what my folks used to tell me- too much of everything is bad. Seriously, it is.

– – – –
I’m tired both physically and emotionally. I haven’t been getting much sleep – 2 to 3 hours per day, tops. Emotionally, I’m drained. I’ve even gone to the limits of convincing myself that If I don’t want to be hurt – I should stop attaching myself to things or people. And that I should stop feeling any emotion.

It’s easy when you’re uber plastic (READ: TUPPERWARE). But I’m not, sorry.

– – – –
I’ve been getting intelligence reports of a gay guy (let’s call him A) who has been stabbing me in the back. We meet up, he says “hi” and even smiles, and when i’m not around, he’s been telling people negative things about me.

We’re not even close- I only talk to him when I need his help and that doesn’t always happen.

I just hate it when people do that (sidenote: who likes it anyway?) but then again, I was figuratively rolling on the floor laughing when a friend of mine said:

Sabi ni _______ ganto ka daw at ganyan. Nagmumukha na nga siyang tanga eh kase mukha lang siyang pathetic. No one believe’s him anyway.haha.

It’s a good thing I have people who actually believe and know the real me. I’ve been transparent with people; you automatically know when you’re not my cup of tea. But please, stop being bitter. LOL

– – – –
I once read that in communication, the interpretation of the message is subject to the capability of the receiver to interpret. Hence, how the receiver sees things is how he would give meaning to the message.

It’s only now that I understand how simplistic and limited A’s view of the world is.

– – – –
I’m getting feedbacks that I look super serious when I walk. That I’m even suplado. I don’t know, I don’t usually say “hi” to people who aren’t that ‘close’ to me.

Although I do say “hi” if they would.I’m not trying to feel important or act important. I guess its because I fear of not being responded to had I been the one to greet first. I’m not trying to feel important or act important.

I can’t please everyone – It’s one lesson I’ve learned so far. It’s either people like me or they don’t, and that’s just that. I’m not working on being appreciated anymore.

After all, I believe appreciation actually starts with the person himself.

– – – –
Class at 2:30 and I have nothing to wear yet. shoot.
Oh yeah, I have an exam on wages (labor law) and I haven’t even read anything yet.
I’ll manage; it’s not as if I have a choice. LOL
See yah.

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