L I F E

Why did I call this post “life”, you ask?

For the simple reason that there could be no other way to describe the complexities of what’s happening to me right now, than the word “LIFE”.

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Life is complicated. At nineteen, I sure have had a dose of its complications and believe me, when everything falls apart, you don’t wanna be in the middle.

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In terms of LOVE for example. I try to move on everyday, assessing emotions, differentiating the feeling of a fling from a crush, and the feeling of love from a sudden outburst of admiration for someone.

But then the other day, friends were teasing me to somebody and the worst part was, they INSIST that I am in LOVE with that someone.

I find no fault at being in love with somebody. I find nothing wrong with admiring even the same sex. But what bothers me, is how some people could easily conclude that they are in LOVE after just a day or two.

A friend> once said “Ako nga eh, two days palang, inamin ko na na mahal ko siya!

I was thinking: Ah! at proud ka pa.. kaya ka naman nasasaktan lage eh

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There is no easy way of saying goodbye.

I miss the High School Musical Cast and Staff. I miss the rehearsals every weekday that lasts from 1 pm to 8 in the evening. I miss seeing a fellow cast and say “Mamaya, kita tayo sa rehearsals”.

I miss meeting up even during weekends to throw lines and rehearse production numbers.

I know that I’ve been with the gang for only 10 days (they were together for almost three weeks) but as I always say:

Its not about how long you’ve been together, it’s about how much emotions you’ve shared.

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I was called by the school’s marketing office to serve as talent for globe’s upcoming tv ad. The ad revolves around people [students and a few grownups ;)] who are  interviewed on the spot about their globe experience.

What was really cool about the production was that a real director was there to facilitate the shoot. The director was direk ogi (sugatan) from the show Chef to Go!

He was soo accomodating and friendly that we felt comfortable while doing the tvc.

Right now, I think I wont be edited in but let’s see…

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Investing emotions in everything is I think my greatest waterloo. A simple tap on the back, a smile, a kiss, a peck, a hug – everything means something to me. I guess i’m just like that- I believe in Newton’s law of Motion- “every object in motion will stay in motion until acted upon by an outside force”. (Just somewhat the other way around).

Things have been happening lately, and have been happening fast. The problem is, I rely too much on signs that I forget that I am always at the losing end with what I do.

I don’t wanna name names and I don’t want to relate the story to protect innocent parties. Let me just leave it at that.

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Since investing and feeling has caused me nothing but ‘hurting’, I have decided not to feel in order to not hurt. Its the most logical thing I can think of right now.

I don’t know if thats makes sense to you, but right now, with everything not working, it means the world to me.

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I choose not to invest on anything or anyone anymore. Why? Because the best way not to hurt, is NOT to feel.

BACKGROUND MUSIC: ‘WALK AWAY’ by Vanessa Hudghens

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Watch out for my next post about backstabbers and my four day camping trip! LOL

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