Identity Crisis

[This is a letter I sent to someone very special to me. It was sent just a few minutes before this post was written.]

*****,

Happiness is a choice, not an emotion. As much as I’m ‘looking’ like I’m moving on, i still refrain from doing things that would hurt in the long run, such as entering new relationships, flirting, and the like.

I choose to be happy. And I want you to choose to be happy. It isn’t easy to try not to feel the pain, but if you don’t, what good do you get from hurting?

Smiling doesn’t automatically mean your happy. In a complex world such as ours, smiling and loving can mean alot of things. Not wanting to remember isn’t really synonymous to trying to forget.

What really drives you to do things? Your family would be a really good start. Only until you finally pick up the pieces of your broken heart, will things fall back into place.

I’m still looking forward to a future with the two of us in it- no matter what we have become, or what roles we play in each others lives.

But one thing is for sure: No one can ever share the same love we did. ‘Coz no one will ever love you the way I did, and vice versa.

Take Care. This ain’t a goodbye. Think of it as a goodnight.

Kurt

– – – – –

I’m starting to feel as if I’m having an identity crisis. No, it’s not what you think (sexuality and all). That issue has long been discussed and settled.

I imagine myself as water right now. I have no form, only substance. I move, I take the shape of whoever or whatever holds me.  Why, you may ask? Simple, too much of listening to others.

The worst among many of my negative attitudes is my lack of  ability to stand firm on what I believe in. I know its hard for you to believe it, since alot of those who personally know me, know how much argumentative I can become at times.

But sometimes, I take form depending on how people see me, on how they view me. It sucks, I know, and I’m working on it. I have to, otherwise, I won’t become anyone, not even me.

– – – – –

I miss talking to people about things at a macrocosmic level. You know, the world, truth vs lie, the great design of things, destiny. All these vague topics that no one can really describe.

I miss someone I used to talk to about these things.

– – – – –

I am now part of High School Musical Three and I’m even trying to do the impossible- Im going to dance. I know, the idea is nearly impossible but let’s see.

Catch us at March 11-12 at the Freedom Hall. Tickets are only at PHP 20 each so please do watch us. :)

– – – – –

Free? Text me. Seriously. I need someone to talk to. My Number? Get it from one of my friends. LOL :D

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