How to Save a Life (and some updates)

While walking awhile ago:

Me: In a relationship, I prefer to be pampered. The one who gets to be spoiled.
RZ
: Me? I want to be the one who gets to pamper people…

*dead air*

Me: So why don’t you just continue the pep talk so we would get somewhere? ;)
RZ
: Why won’t we just return the past, then? ;)

Haha.

Updates first before the main article. It’s been really nice meeting up with old friends and old flames. LOL. I’ve been given quite some time to reconnect with friends and “more than friends” from the distant past and it feels good catching up. It’s nice to talk about the stuff you once did together, the jokes you once cracked together and the moments you laughed it all away.

I really had fun awhile ago. It wasn’t much, but it pays to return to the few people who you once treasured alot and who did feel the same way  (or maybe more) for you.

– – – – – –

I’ve been meeting up with alot of people lately. People who say they “just want to have clean fun”. I made it clear a few days back that I won’t prevent myself from hanging out with other people, mostly if we could have fun together.

Ever since I raised the “SINGLE” flag, I’ve been getting a few invites for lunch and maybe dinner. It feels nice though, knowing that there are people who want to make good memories with you. Someone asked me out to watch Transformers the other day, and then there was this invite to dinner yesterday afternoon.

But what stood out was one invite that practically said “I want to bring you places you’ve never been to. I want to spend time and make good memories with you. Pack your bags tomorrow afternoon and let’s go somewhere special”.

The invite requires, though, that I’d have to not come home tomorrow night. I don’t know where that place is – but I do know the person so it won’t be bad. I’m just not comfortable with the overnight thing, because I don’t want to do something I would regret later on. But maybe I could give it a shot. Check my Facebook shoutout sunday morning if I didn’t come home Saturday night. LOL ;)

– – – –

Speaking about what happens on an overnight, I think I have developed an indifference towards sex. Maybe because I’ve heard of a few acquaintances who’ve been having “sex” as a past time.

I treasure sex alot. It should only be shared by people who feel something for each other- and it should not be anything less than love. Call me conservative, but I have a high regard for it.

Maybe, my “future” would teach me how to regain confidence in the fact that sex shouldn’t just be doled out to other people just like that. I think It’s just not right.

– – – –

I happen to be confused. I am confused about how I feel for somebody. Call me a freak of nature, but it’s been one year and five months to be exact since I last felt it. Now, I think, I’m feeling it again. Am I really ready to give love another shot? shoot.

– – – –

My international internship which I’ve been planning to have in Singapore ever since I was a college freshman is untimely threatened. My dad angrily withdrew his support days ago because of personal reasons. My mom says she hopes she could raise the funds I need before October. I’m planning to save up and I think I can but I don’t think I have enough time.

I just hope Dad would let me decide for myself. I’ve been making decisions for my career and education for the past four years, and I haven’t even asked his advice, not even once. I don’t want to sound uber proud and ungrateful, but I am confident in saying I turned out good.

If I don’t pursue with Singapore, maybe Manila would do. My free spirit needs a little tending to and the bars and clubs of Manila would be perfect for that. LOL

– – – – –

People have been complaining weeks ago that I am the personified aura of depression. Sorry guys, It’s been a rough month but I am at peace with myself now and with the people around me. I’m gonna be all Mr. Sunshine from now – the laughter and the smiles are right on schedule. (Side Comment: That is so gay… haha!)

– – –

How to save a life

When I was a kid, I used to cry myself to sleep at night. I remember praying this way (I was nine at the time):

“Lord, if something bad happens to any of the people I love, please take me instead. If they would be hurt, please hurt me instead. I don’t want to see any of them hurting and If I could spare them the of death and pain, I humbly offer myself to you instead”.

During the prayer, I usually cry, up until I realize I’ve already fallen asleep and it’s morning. When I told my mom about it, she said it was unfair for me to ask such things; she said things happen to people for a reason and you should understand that.

I never really understood that. I always wondered, “Why do people have to get hurt for them to learn?”. While texting a friend awhile ago, I thought of the answer.

Pain comes to people not because we need the drama in our lives but because we are given that perfect opportunity to decide on matters that concern us. The presence of pain reminds us of our ability to control our lives and choose, hoping that the choice we make are correct.

If we make the right choice, we improve where we stand and we improve our situation- we then become happy.

But I guess that’s why God didn’t just take me to save a little boy from drowning or an old man from dying – It’s because we have to be responsible for our own happiness – no one else could choose happiness for us than ourselves.

As I always say, “You cannot save someone who does not want to be saved.” You could only wish the best for them but the choice to be happy and to improve their lives is theirs alone.

Mom always says “that is for you to know but for them to realize” and I think she is correct. You can never enforce change on a person unless he wills change upon himself. It hurts to see the people we love suffer in pain but that’s the only way for them to help themselves – its the only way for them to realize “that the pain is too much to bear that I have to do something about it.”

Sure, not everyone reacts to pain the same way. Some say (me included) “I’ve had enough. I want to be happy” and make life-changing, self-improving decisions. Others become bitter, though, and deal with it in an unhealthy manner.

Could you help them? Yes, you can nudge them to the right direction! But you can’t do everything for them – they have to help themselves.

I’ve said this once and I’m going to repeat again: “You can only save the world if the world decides to save itself. How can you save someone who doesn’t want to be saved?”

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