A: “Is it true?”
Me: “What is?”
A: “That you’re back together?”
Me: “Yeah. We are.”
A: “But you told me that you would love me until forever”
Me: “I did. And you took that for granted. Just because I told you I’d love you forever does not mean you should make me wait”
A: “But I love you”
Me: “And a few weeks ago, you told me ‘I love you but..’. You found every single reason in the book.”
A: “Are you really in love with that person?”
Me: “I don’t know but what I do know is I feel wanted right now which is so much better than what I’ve been feeling these past few months.”
A: “But I want you”
Me: “and I wanted you too. But when a Kurt Paolo Sevillano swallows his pride and willingly takes a blow to his ego just to accomodate you; when he tells you he asks nothing and expects nothing in return – both in time and effort; when he says he’s willing to do anything just to make you stay, that’s his lowest point. That’s the point when he’s willing to take ANYTHING you throw at him just for you to get through.”
Me: “And I did that. I said everything, did everything, proposed every single game plan I can think of just for us to get through this. The only thing I didn’t do was kneel infront of you but with all I had, with who I am, I tried to accomodate you even if deep down, I believed that the reason why we broke-up was because of you in the first place. But What happened? You still let me go when you told me that despite everything I said and did, “You’re sorry because you couldn’t do it. That you don’t feel right. Do you know how hurtful that was – to be told that your loved one does not ‘feel right’ being with you?”.
Me: “Maybe it’s actually good to get back with someone who knows how it feels to lose you, to not have you every single day. Maybe that way, they’d be afraid to lose you for the second time”.
A: “I love you”
Me: “I’m sorry”
* * * * * *
The irony of this is that, in the end, hindi pala ako yung maarte :)
Random Conversations in my head.